There are topics that creative people try to keep quiet about. And if people around know about it, it’s only due to sudden tantrums like «No one needs me and my works.» Often the tantrum gets a continuation in the form: “Mozart at my age alreasy…” or “A girl from the next entrance has already published her second book.”
I want to honestly admit that
I can be envy. The first conscious creative envy covered me at the age of 13 when I learned about the success of Joan Rowling’s books. She did what I always dreamed of — turned the literary world upside down.
Subsequently, I was envious more than once — both to acquaintances who achieved success in my areas of interest, and to just all kinds of fantasy authors, and YouTubers, who incredibly quickly gained subscribers.
But you know what? Each such period of envy ended in a surge of creativity. I always thought about going my own way and not be like others.
I remember how at the age of 13 couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. I looked at the ceiling, but I saw not darkness, but a beautiful fantasy world. And I passionately wanted to make it unlike Middle-earth or the world of Hogwarts. And although at first there were elves and unicorns, then they transformed into something original over the time.
Envy challenges. You will either become better and stronger, or go into sadness and narcissism. Like, “I’m so wonderful, but I was born not in the right time, no one noticed me, no one accepted me, and in general money decides everything” (underline what is necessary)
I was very worried about envy. It seemed to me that I am bad, that it’s wrong to envy. Good girls don’t envy anyone.
But then I suddenly realized that envy is beautiful if it motivates. And the more you work on yourself, the more you try to go forward, the less you envy another. Now I don’t remember how it is, to envy Rowling. Because this feeling has transformed.
There is a place for everything and everyone in the world. There can not be too many books — there is a reader for each. The other person won’t take your path from you. Because it’s only yours.
Envy in small doses is very beneficial. Because it can sometimes give rise to so necessary anger: “I can! I can handle it! I can do it! ”
You definitely can!
Don’t be silent about your envy. Write it down, pronounce it. Understand what exactly are you envy about? What is important for you? If you are jealous of someone else’s success, then try to figure out what prevents you from achieving the same. Perhaps you are going the wrong way. Analyze. But by no means blame yourself! Just go ahead despite everything.
I believe in you!